Glad for the borrowed time

My mom and me, circa 1972-73
at Luneta Park

I originally posted this in my inspire.com account, which I had registered for after my mom had been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer early in November 2014. I joined this online support community while searching for ways to help Mama - and us - cope with her disease and the side effects of Tarceva, that wonder target-therapy drug for lung cancer patients.

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My mom and dad during
their wedding (obviously)

My mom had been on the 4th month of Tarceva treatment. Her last x-ray showed an improvement, a "slight clearing" of the lungs. Her oncologist - and of course, us - were optimistic. Tarceva seemed to be effective; the sky-high price seemed to be worth it. She had been getting back her appetite, usually going for second, third servings and we would tease her about it. She was gaining back her weight. The oncologist even said there was a chance of reducing the Tarceva dosage so that her kidneys would not be affected too much.

Suddenly, pneumonia struck. She had a slight cough again, then had trouble breathing, and when we asked her if it was the same as when she was first diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer (November 2014) when they conducted a biopsy on the fluid in her lungs, she replied yes. So we rushed her to the hospital at 1AM on March 19. They found fluid in her lungs again, but this time there was less -- in November, she had more than a liter in her right lung, while this time she had 200ml in her right and 100ml in her left. 

They put her on diuretics while waiting for the doc to do the thoracentesis. The pulmonologist said she was having trouble breathing because the fluid was in patches, where before her lung seemed like a bag slowly filling with water. (They bided their time because her BP would drop during the thoracentesis procedure.) She had the procedure done March 20, in the late afternoon, where they extracted 400ml in her LEFT lung. The right, meanwhile, had less than 100ml so they did not pierce it this time and continued with the diuretics.

Sadly, she was not able to recover. They added a little dopamine to her IV so her BP would raise a bit... But despite the oxygen canula or mask she was still having trouble breathing. She was so restless through the night, repeatedly complaining, "It's too hot" even if I was already shivering because of the temp of the air conditioning. On March 21, they brought her to the ICU for better management... Around 3 that afternoon they asked permission to intubate her because her oxygen levels had not increased. They also put a urinary catheter on her to help her body get rid of the fluids flowing thru her IV. Her BP levels were low, her pulse almost non-existent, but her heart seemed okay.

At past 7 that same evening, her heart suddenly gave way. We were talking with other relatives in the waiting area when we heard the overhead PA bark out, "Code Red, ICU" and saw the nurses rushing, the defibrillator being wheeled in. We instantly jumped to our feet because we realized that she was the only patient in the ICU. Barred from getting in, we desperately peeked through the blinds to watch. We cried at the painful sight of nurses gathering around her, trying to shock her heart to life.

At some point, I jumped to my feet and rushed up the stairs to the chapel on the third floor. There, I knelt in surrender. Over and over, I tearfully said, "Lord, Your will be done," and a strange feeling of peace washed over me. I rushed back to the ICU.

They tried to revive her for several long minutes until the doctor approached us and we said, "No more." We knew they could not go on forever reviving her, and we knew that even if she was revived, a good quality of life would not be guaranteed. It was a decision that would always pain us, but we prayed first before giving it, and we had said our goodbyes because we knew she was leaving us. 

Septic shock, renal failure, high-risk pneumonia due to a compromised immune system. Underlying cause: stage 4, lung cancer. People were shocked - they did not know she had stage 4 lung CA; they said she didn't look like someone with cancer; and they felt it was so fast -- we brought her to the hospital on Thursday and she left two days later.

No matter how sad we are, we are still grateful to have been able to buy some time for her and for ourselves, that we could prepare ourselves for her leaving us because we knew her illness was terminal, and we did everything in our power to give her what she wanted in her last months with us.

As for me, I will always cherish one of the last things she said to me when she woke up that last morning at around 2am (I was her only companion that time). I was resting on a chair beside the bed because the previous times, I had barely gone to sleep in the cot when she would call out to me and ask me to crank up the air con. I was catching up on my sleep, my head resting on my arms on the bed beside her, when I felt her grab my hand. For someone weak, I noticed that it was an uncharacteristically strong grip. I came closer, asking her what was wrong and if she needed anything. She hugged me, telling me that she was tired. I said, "It's okay you can rest now." I was crying then, because I knew I was letting her go. She told me, "Don't cry. You were the one who did everything you could." To this day, I always cry (or at the very least, hyperventilate) when I remember that moment.

We knew we were living on borrowed time, but then, don't we all do?

"Loom-bonding" sessions and kids

I thought of buying a loom band kit for my niece-cum-daughter Kaye when I noticed that she was feeling left out because each girl in her circle of friends had her own kit. So I scouted the web for one of those starter kits and bought her one with the rectangular rainbow loom. (They're easily available on the market, too.)

Kaye started watching tutorial videos on YouTube, although she had learned the basics from watching her friends do it. Pretty soon I myself was joining in, learning the basic stitches and patterns. I liked it, because it reminded me of crocheting which I liked. (It has the same shape of hook used, you can even use actual crochet hooks.) I thought some were too complex for a six-year-old like Kaye, and that she still lacked the manual dexterity for some stitches and patterns.

The Monster Tail has a more
portable loom that makes it
easier to hook bands. 

Then I bought a Monster Tail kit, and making the bracelets seemed easier! I relearned the stitches and started teaching Kaye how to do her own bracelets on the kit. We became hooked (no pun intended) and sometimes on weekends we would sit beside each other choosing our colors and making bracelets for ourselves or for our friends.

These "loom-bonding sessions" made me realize that this activity (as with making other handicraft projects, I guess) could actually have a positive effect on kids:

• It teaches them to focus. Making bracelets, especially those with more complex patterns or color combinations, requires concentration. Hooking over or under the wrong band or peg at the wrong time would be a misstep that will destroy the pattern -- and you may have to undo and redo the whole thing. Kaye has learned this the hard way, and not only once. Unfortunately, it’s up to me to determine where she went wrong and try to undo it.

• It teaches patience. Making loom band bracelets is a trial-and-error thing. You experiment with colors, for one thing, and may have gone into an inch or two before you realize that they look hideous together and you have no choice but to undo the whole thing. Note, though, that undoing and redoing bands can be irritating, especially if you've been using low-quality bands that lose shape after being stretched. (These show up as loose stitches or "protrusions" in the finished product -- not good!) And -- gah, the time you spend painstakingly separating those colors so that you could proceed faster with a project! Does that sound too OC? 

• It helps them understand patterns. Using several colors forces kids to use their brains in understanding patterns -- which is a lesson in basic math. 

A mix-match of colors to practice patterns and bring out creativity

• It teaches them to follow instructions. As I mentioned earlier, making loom band bracelets is just like crocheting or knitting. There are stitches to learn, follow  and execute correctly. But don't fear. Although kits have their own manuals, there are literally hundreds of instructional YouTube videos that make it easier to make loom band items, whether on the rainbow loom, a monster tail loom, a "fork", or even your own fingers.

Shhh! Kaye is busy
concentrating.

• It improves manual dexterity. Each stitch requires your fingers to maneuver that hook between pegs and bands, while taking care that the rest of those bands do not get undone. A certain amount of hand-eye coordination comes in handy, definitely. This is a plus for adults, too -- it helps exercise our fingers. Take care however, because, like I found the hard way, making several bracelets in a row can cause finger and wrist joints and muscles to ache. 

• It makes for fantastic bonding sessions with friends. Because she now has her own kit, Kaye can now choose to be occupied with bracelet-making on her own, or invite her friends over for a session. They have an alternative way to spend their time indoors when it's raining outside. They even teach each other how to make certain patterns. And remember those classic scenes of a group of women gossiping with each other while knitting? Well, let me just say that during one of those loom band sessions, I have heard Kaye and some of her friends gossiping about -- you guessed right –- those cutie One Direction guys. <Sigh>

• It brings out ingenuity and creativity. Good-looking bracelets are usually those that have attractive color combinations. Sometimes, you would think certain colors would look weird together, but then the finished product reveals otherwise. The secret is in being creative with the color combinations, and the possibilities are practically endless -- or as far as your stock of bands goes. You would be surprised, too, that some kids can make up their own designs, not only for bracelets but for other items such as pencil grips, headbands, rings, and necklaces, without having to go through a video tutorial.

• It builds their self-esteem. With the worldwide loom band craze, a bracelet that is personally made makes a good gift or token. So when a kid gives you a loom band bracelet, especially one he/she made, be generous with your thanks and other encouraging words (even if you don't like the colors, or it's not so well-made, or you don't want to use it). I make sure to be profuse with congratulating or praising Kaye when she finishes a bracelet, especially when it comes out terrific! A simple pat on the back that encourages her to do more and even improve her craft, eh?

• It teaches entrepreneurship. Does that sound too extreme? I base this on the fact that I know some kids who sell loom band paraphernalia. Some even cash in on their personally-made finished products.  

Honestly, I think that all these apply to me, too. Sometimes, instead of watching those "mind-dumbing" teleseryes, I choose to watch instructional videos and experiment with loom bands. Once I get the hang of it, I decide if it looks easy enough for Kaye to learn. Sometimes, however, I find that I quite underestimate her capacity for learning.

A word of caution, though. Heed all warnings about those bands and other paraphernalia. Remember that bands, clips and charms are tiny enough to be swallowed by your kids and pets. Also, if you can, choose bands that are latex-free, or try to smell them because some of those bands have a funny smell especially when they get mixed with sweat. Low-quality ones easily break, or get itchy. I also remind Kaye to wash her hands thoroughly after handling the bands, and forbid her to touch her face or food with her bare hands otherwise. You can't be too careful about lead and other toxic materials in those things.

The loom band craze is not for everyone. But if you find your kid interested in it, then indulge. Who knows, like me, you may find yourself joining in.

Swimming or massage? Go for both at Ace Water Spa!

I'm a crammer. I mean, I always crammed when I was a student, willing to stay up all night or wake up early in the morning to study before an exam.

Thanks to BDJ for my coupon!

And so it is when I'm using up my Belle de Jour coupons. I have been using a BDJ Power Planner for (if I'm not mistaken) 5 years now, and it's quite unfortunate that I have been unable to use a lot of their coupons because I always forgot to use them even if I almost always carry them in my bag. I mostly use the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf discounts, or those for the White Hat yogurt (they don't have them for 2014, though). (For those interested, you can check out the planner and other BDJ products here.)

Well, this year, the planner includes two coupons for Ace Water Spa. One coupon is for January to June, the other is for July to December. It's a "buy 1, take 1" promo, which is good as it allows you to bring someone along, for free!

I used the first coupon, which was good until June 30, as a Father's Day treat to hubby. We decided to bring our niece-cum-daughter Kaye along because she loves the pool. I'd read from their website (you can check it out here) and reviews that entrance fee for adults is at P550, while those for kids (up to 4 feet) is at P250. Unfortunately, Kaye measured a thumb-width taller than their 4' board and no amount of cajoling and begging could make the lady at the counter allow us to pay just P250 for her. (She even said that we could be seen on the CCTV. Sigh.) The rates, by the way, are good for four hours.

Anyway, we were pretty excited. Ace Water Spa has heated and scented pools for hydrotherapy massage. The pools are equipped with jets targeting different parts of the body at different strengths. Quite an experience to look forward to! We opted to go to their (original) branch along San Francisco Del Monte in Quezon City, but they have another branch along Pioneer St. in Pasig City (which has a hotel).

So I read about their do's and dont's to know what we were up for, and I was able to prove that these were true:

• DO wear a one-piece bathing suit (for ladies) or one of tight-fitting spandex material. (Board shorts are not allowed.) Aside from allowing your body to benefit fully from the massage, some of the jets are so strong they could literally expand your suit or make it ride up your body -- watch out, wardrobe malfunction!
• DO bring your own towel. You may, however, rent towels or swimsuits/trunks. Goggles are only for sale. Life vests for kids are available for free at the pool area.
• DO eat some before you swim, if you plan to stay for the full four hours. Food is prohibited in the pool area, but they have a restaurant where you can buy food. They come at a price, though.
• DON'T expect to be able to take selfies at the pool. Cameras and celfones are strictly prohibited in the pool area.

There are, of course, separate locker rooms for male and female. At the door, you are asked to leave your footwear, and are given a key to your locker. You can wear this key as a bracelet when you swim. You will also be given swimming caps to use.

The locker room has dressing rooms, shower stalls (which you use before heading to the pool, of course) and toilets. The shower stalls have shampoo and liquid soap in dispensers; the sinks have hair dryers.

Now on to the water spa. Take your pick from the different areas that have signages which indicate the body parts the jets target; the massage pressure (soft, medium or hard); the health benefits (good for those suffering diabetes, arthritis, constipation, muscle aches, etc.); and advice on how long you should spend in them. There are buttons that turn the jets on, and while they automatically shut off after about three minutes, you can still press them for reactivation. Common courtesy dictates that when there are a lot of people, you don't stay in one area too long, but you can go back later if it's vacant.

There are those that target the waist and butt area; the legs; the lower back; even the head. Most have sitting areas; some are best taken while lying down. My favorite must be the rainfall acupuncture, where you lie face down and water falls on your back, from head to toe, like a really strong shower. I particularly also liked the one (I think it was the bubble pool) where the jets are under your feet, and are strong enough to lift your body up while massaging your butt and the back of your thighs. Take heed, though, of areas where there are steps underwater, as they may not be visible under the bubbles or churning caused by the jets.

Top photo: Lazy River.
Bottom photo: Rainfall acupuncture.

The QC branch has 9 heated pools and one cold pool. And when I say cold, it's REALLY cold. It's right beside the herbal pools. Speaking of herbal pools first, there are two for each herb. You immerse yourself first into the lavender pool which is at 40 degrees Celsius. You then move over to the jasmine pool which is at 38 degrees, then relax a bit in the mint pool at 36 degrees. The lavender and jasmine pools have jets to massage your torso while you sit. You have to ease yourself carefully into these pools until your body gets used to the temperature, and signs advise you that you don't spend more than a total of 10 minutes in each pool. You can lean your neck onto the cold metal "pillows" or bars to somehow regulate your body temperature and blood pressure. There are also sauna and steam rooms near the hot pools.

Afterwards, you cool yourself off with the bucket splash (you stand under a bucket high over your head and pull the rope to get doused), or in the cold pool. Take note, though, that you only need about 5 seconds in the cold pool, which is literally ice cold. I tried sitting in it longer that that and I could practically feel the veins in my feet contracting, almost like a cramp, and my hubby complained of the same thing. I urged him and Kaye not to stay too long for risk of hypothermia, har har.

I also liked the "Lazy River" going around the larger pool area. You get one of those big paddle boards and cling to it (some kids sit on it) and the current pulls you along.

By the way, I saw a lot of senior citizens at the spa. I guess they wanted the hot pool and the massage sans the physical pounding from masseurs, which could be bad for their brittle or fragile bones. I really think my mom would enjoy herself here, and she suffers from diabetes and osteoarthritis. My hubby, who complains of symptoms of arthritis, liked the warmth of the water and the massage he gets onto his lower back.

Not all their pools are for hydrotherapy, though. There's a long pool that's for swimming. I understand that they offer swimming classes here, too, under Bert Lozada. There are three cordoned-off lanes for those who want to swim laps, so stay out of those if you just want to paddle around. The depth ranges from 4.3 feet at the ends, and 4.8 feet in the middle.

The restaurant (QC branch) looks out onto the lap pool
and gives a glimpse of the massage areas.

Clean restrooms and water dispensers are situated strategically around the pool area, so there will be no need for you to head back to the shower/locker room when you feel like going or if you're thirsty. There is also an area where you can just sit and rest if you're tired or just want to rest before going back to the pools.

Lifeguards around the pools keep an eye out for children. This eases parents' worries while they're being massaged. (This does not give you license, though, to be negligent since the lifeguards are NOT babysitters.) The lifeguards are highly visible with their yellow t-shirts.

View of the pool area in QC branch.
(I sneaked a celfone shot from outside the shower room.)

Before I forget, we got a desk calendar from Ace upon paying for our entrance fees. The calendar has a page filled with freebies for each month of the year. These differ from the spa to hotel room rates, even banquet and buffet:

Monthly freebies in their desk calendar

Hubby and Kaye

We stayed for almost four hours at Ace. (How do they know if you've exceeded, I wonder?) Some people have enough after about three hours. Based on reviews, it is best to go in the early morning or late afternoon to early evening (their hours are from 6:30AM to 10:45PM). After four hours, you really get hungry! But since we left at around 12 noon, we opted to wait until reaching home to eat our lunch.

Let me also say that after four hours, you just want to sleep! And then, ironically, hubby and I were complaining of sore muscles. I guess we must have overdone it. After all, body massages (with masseurs, that is) are enough for one to two hours max. Hmm. On the other hand, Kaye liked it so much she wanted to go back soon.

But still, hubby posted on Facebook that he enjoyed my treat, and that it was fun. I countered, "Does this mean I have to foot the entire bill?" Well, at least it was Father's Day. See how content he and Kaye looked -->

The good thing about Ace is that since it's indoors, it's all-weather (rain or shine) and you don't have to put on sunblock. So I do believe I will avail of that other BDJ coupon before the year ends. Last Father's and Mother's Days, they offered a buy 3-take 1 free promo for four adults!

You can also check out their FB page (Ace Water Spa (Official)) for promos, which I've seen them offer on discount sites.

(P.S. A couple of the pool shots are from the calendar.)