#DestinationNippon: We were [almost not] off to Japan!

I’m actually embarrassed to say that I own a blog, but I hadn’t actually updated it for the longest time!!! In fact, when I opened this, I saw that my last post was after my mom had died in 2015. Since then, I’ve always said, “I’ll write about this,” but quite couldn’t muster up enough energy to do so even if I always had an idea of what to write about.

This time, though, I was determined to write a series of articles about our trip to Japan. Why? Because I 💓💓💓 our Japan trip, and I would like my memories to be etched not only in photos but in my blog where I can write more about things we saw, felt, tasted… This can also serve as a sort of reference for anyone who wants to go on a tour, or just as simple reading material for anyone who wants to know about what we did and experienced in the Land of the Rising Sun.

First off, let me tell you that we almost didn’t make it to Japan. We were really and originally aiming to go to Tokyo Disneyland in December, because we wanted to experience cold weather. It didn’t matter if there was snow or not, as long as it was colder than in the Philippines. Disneyland sounded fun too for someone like me who grew up watching Disney, although I haven’t really grown in height and I keep watching Disney movies … My husband C also wanted to celebrate his 50th birthday abroad, as well as the 12th birthday of my niece Kaye, whom we've been raising as our own. 

So we started planning early enough, around June (if I remember right)… But when I started scouting for how much Disneyland would cost, and the schedule, I always kept running across articles that said December would be the peak of the peak seasons and that schedules were full.

Disheartened, we thought of Hongkong Disneyland… But we didn’t know how long the violence in the streets would last and feared for our safety, so we turned our sights to Singapore’s Universal Studios. I got in touch with a former colleague who is now SG-based and asked for an itinerary.

At one of the kiosks
during the Klook event

Suddenly my husband said we would be going to Japan. Someone had told him that I might have seen such articles or full bookings because it was too early, and that I should try at a closer date, say three months ahead. So I got in touch with my high school classmate’s travel agency and asked if it was possible, and I was told yes!

We also decided to go to Universal Studios in Osaka for our plan B. And then, lo and behold, our original plan of a three- to four-day vacation turned out to be seven days, and we decided to do both Osaka and Tokyo.

We got excited with this!

This got me moving on the planning. I asked the travel agency for an itinerary in Osaka, and then Tokyo. But then we decided to attend a Klook Travel Fest at the World Trade Center. We went on a Saturday and looked at the countries with packages, asked a few questions, and grabbed some brochures. Upon returning home I looked some more through the brochures and website for Japan and marked a few, then convinced my husband to return the next day to book personally so that I could ask questions first.

On Sunday, we did return to the World Trade Center. While I was asking some questions about booking, the assistant said they would be having a big sale at around noontime but with limited slots. So we decided to stick around. We carefully finalized the selections of the packages I was considering and added them to my cart. With credit card details ready and typed in, I waited for the sale time – and when it came, all I had to do was click buy and – voila! The big discount (more than P12,000) was effected.

Hooray! This was our first sign that yes – we would finally be going to Japan! 

And our tour would be DIY. What a learning, adventurous experience it would turn out to be!

(Next: Requirements to complete)

Glad for the borrowed time

My mom and me, circa 1972-73
at Luneta Park

I originally posted this in my inspire.com account, which I had registered for after my mom had been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer early in November 2014. I joined this online support community while searching for ways to help Mama - and us - cope with her disease and the side effects of Tarceva, that wonder target-therapy drug for lung cancer patients.

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My mom and dad during
their wedding (obviously)

My mom had been on the 4th month of Tarceva treatment. Her last x-ray showed an improvement, a "slight clearing" of the lungs. Her oncologist - and of course, us - were optimistic. Tarceva seemed to be effective; the sky-high price seemed to be worth it. She had been getting back her appetite, usually going for second, third servings and we would tease her about it. She was gaining back her weight. The oncologist even said there was a chance of reducing the Tarceva dosage so that her kidneys would not be affected too much.

Suddenly, pneumonia struck. She had a slight cough again, then had trouble breathing, and when we asked her if it was the same as when she was first diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer (November 2014) when they conducted a biopsy on the fluid in her lungs, she replied yes. So we rushed her to the hospital at 1AM on March 19. They found fluid in her lungs again, but this time there was less -- in November, she had more than a liter in her right lung, while this time she had 200ml in her right and 100ml in her left. 

They put her on diuretics while waiting for the doc to do the thoracentesis. The pulmonologist said she was having trouble breathing because the fluid was in patches, where before her lung seemed like a bag slowly filling with water. (They bided their time because her BP would drop during the thoracentesis procedure.) She had the procedure done March 20, in the late afternoon, where they extracted 400ml in her LEFT lung. The right, meanwhile, had less than 100ml so they did not pierce it this time and continued with the diuretics.

Sadly, she was not able to recover. They added a little dopamine to her IV so her BP would raise a bit... But despite the oxygen canula or mask she was still having trouble breathing. She was so restless through the night, repeatedly complaining, "It's too hot" even if I was already shivering because of the temp of the air conditioning. On March 21, they brought her to the ICU for better management... Around 3 that afternoon they asked permission to intubate her because her oxygen levels had not increased. They also put a urinary catheter on her to help her body get rid of the fluids flowing thru her IV. Her BP levels were low, her pulse almost non-existent, but her heart seemed okay.

At past 7 that same evening, her heart suddenly gave way. We were talking with other relatives in the waiting area when we heard the overhead PA bark out, "Code Red, ICU" and saw the nurses rushing, the defibrillator being wheeled in. We instantly jumped to our feet because we realized that she was the only patient in the ICU. Barred from getting in, we desperately peeked through the blinds to watch. We cried at the painful sight of nurses gathering around her, trying to shock her heart to life.

At some point, I jumped to my feet and rushed up the stairs to the chapel on the third floor. There, I knelt in surrender. Over and over, I tearfully said, "Lord, Your will be done," and a strange feeling of peace washed over me. I rushed back to the ICU.

They tried to revive her for several long minutes until the doctor approached us and we said, "No more." We knew they could not go on forever reviving her, and we knew that even if she was revived, a good quality of life would not be guaranteed. It was a decision that would always pain us, but we prayed first before giving it, and we had said our goodbyes because we knew she was leaving us. 

Septic shock, renal failure, high-risk pneumonia due to a compromised immune system. Underlying cause: stage 4, lung cancer. People were shocked - they did not know she had stage 4 lung CA; they said she didn't look like someone with cancer; and they felt it was so fast -- we brought her to the hospital on Thursday and she left two days later.

No matter how sad we are, we are still grateful to have been able to buy some time for her and for ourselves, that we could prepare ourselves for her leaving us because we knew her illness was terminal, and we did everything in our power to give her what she wanted in her last months with us.

As for me, I will always cherish one of the last things she said to me when she woke up that last morning at around 2am (I was her only companion that time). I was resting on a chair beside the bed because the previous times, I had barely gone to sleep in the cot when she would call out to me and ask me to crank up the air con. I was catching up on my sleep, my head resting on my arms on the bed beside her, when I felt her grab my hand. For someone weak, I noticed that it was an uncharacteristically strong grip. I came closer, asking her what was wrong and if she needed anything. She hugged me, telling me that she was tired. I said, "It's okay you can rest now." I was crying then, because I knew I was letting her go. She told me, "Don't cry. You were the one who did everything you could." To this day, I always cry (or at the very least, hyperventilate) when I remember that moment.

We knew we were living on borrowed time, but then, don't we all do?

"Loom-bonding" sessions and kids

I thought of buying a loom band kit for my niece-cum-daughter Kaye when I noticed that she was feeling left out because each girl in her circle of friends had her own kit. So I scouted the web for one of those starter kits and bought her one with the rectangular rainbow loom. (They're easily available on the market, too.)

Kaye started watching tutorial videos on YouTube, although she had learned the basics from watching her friends do it. Pretty soon I myself was joining in, learning the basic stitches and patterns. I liked it, because it reminded me of crocheting which I liked. (It has the same shape of hook used, you can even use actual crochet hooks.) I thought some were too complex for a six-year-old like Kaye, and that she still lacked the manual dexterity for some stitches and patterns.

The Monster Tail has a more
portable loom that makes it
easier to hook bands. 

Then I bought a Monster Tail kit, and making the bracelets seemed easier! I relearned the stitches and started teaching Kaye how to do her own bracelets on the kit. We became hooked (no pun intended) and sometimes on weekends we would sit beside each other choosing our colors and making bracelets for ourselves or for our friends.

These "loom-bonding sessions" made me realize that this activity (as with making other handicraft projects, I guess) could actually have a positive effect on kids:

• It teaches them to focus. Making bracelets, especially those with more complex patterns or color combinations, requires concentration. Hooking over or under the wrong band or peg at the wrong time would be a misstep that will destroy the pattern -- and you may have to undo and redo the whole thing. Kaye has learned this the hard way, and not only once. Unfortunately, it’s up to me to determine where she went wrong and try to undo it.

• It teaches patience. Making loom band bracelets is a trial-and-error thing. You experiment with colors, for one thing, and may have gone into an inch or two before you realize that they look hideous together and you have no choice but to undo the whole thing. Note, though, that undoing and redoing bands can be irritating, especially if you've been using low-quality bands that lose shape after being stretched. (These show up as loose stitches or "protrusions" in the finished product -- not good!) And -- gah, the time you spend painstakingly separating those colors so that you could proceed faster with a project! Does that sound too OC? 

• It helps them understand patterns. Using several colors forces kids to use their brains in understanding patterns -- which is a lesson in basic math. 

A mix-match of colors to practice patterns and bring out creativity

• It teaches them to follow instructions. As I mentioned earlier, making loom band bracelets is just like crocheting or knitting. There are stitches to learn, follow  and execute correctly. But don't fear. Although kits have their own manuals, there are literally hundreds of instructional YouTube videos that make it easier to make loom band items, whether on the rainbow loom, a monster tail loom, a "fork", or even your own fingers.

Shhh! Kaye is busy
concentrating.

• It improves manual dexterity. Each stitch requires your fingers to maneuver that hook between pegs and bands, while taking care that the rest of those bands do not get undone. A certain amount of hand-eye coordination comes in handy, definitely. This is a plus for adults, too -- it helps exercise our fingers. Take care however, because, like I found the hard way, making several bracelets in a row can cause finger and wrist joints and muscles to ache. 

• It makes for fantastic bonding sessions with friends. Because she now has her own kit, Kaye can now choose to be occupied with bracelet-making on her own, or invite her friends over for a session. They have an alternative way to spend their time indoors when it's raining outside. They even teach each other how to make certain patterns. And remember those classic scenes of a group of women gossiping with each other while knitting? Well, let me just say that during one of those loom band sessions, I have heard Kaye and some of her friends gossiping about -- you guessed right –- those cutie One Direction guys. <Sigh>

• It brings out ingenuity and creativity. Good-looking bracelets are usually those that have attractive color combinations. Sometimes, you would think certain colors would look weird together, but then the finished product reveals otherwise. The secret is in being creative with the color combinations, and the possibilities are practically endless -- or as far as your stock of bands goes. You would be surprised, too, that some kids can make up their own designs, not only for bracelets but for other items such as pencil grips, headbands, rings, and necklaces, without having to go through a video tutorial.

• It builds their self-esteem. With the worldwide loom band craze, a bracelet that is personally made makes a good gift or token. So when a kid gives you a loom band bracelet, especially one he/she made, be generous with your thanks and other encouraging words (even if you don't like the colors, or it's not so well-made, or you don't want to use it). I make sure to be profuse with congratulating or praising Kaye when she finishes a bracelet, especially when it comes out terrific! A simple pat on the back that encourages her to do more and even improve her craft, eh?

• It teaches entrepreneurship. Does that sound too extreme? I base this on the fact that I know some kids who sell loom band paraphernalia. Some even cash in on their personally-made finished products.  

Honestly, I think that all these apply to me, too. Sometimes, instead of watching those "mind-dumbing" teleseryes, I choose to watch instructional videos and experiment with loom bands. Once I get the hang of it, I decide if it looks easy enough for Kaye to learn. Sometimes, however, I find that I quite underestimate her capacity for learning.

A word of caution, though. Heed all warnings about those bands and other paraphernalia. Remember that bands, clips and charms are tiny enough to be swallowed by your kids and pets. Also, if you can, choose bands that are latex-free, or try to smell them because some of those bands have a funny smell especially when they get mixed with sweat. Low-quality ones easily break, or get itchy. I also remind Kaye to wash her hands thoroughly after handling the bands, and forbid her to touch her face or food with her bare hands otherwise. You can't be too careful about lead and other toxic materials in those things.

The loom band craze is not for everyone. But if you find your kid interested in it, then indulge. Who knows, like me, you may find yourself joining in.